I’ve been thinking about this post. Thinking about it and thinking about it. And no matter how I try to shape it, I keep on going off on wild tangents. So consider this your warning. Wild tangents ahead.
I don’t know why, but the other day I was thinking about one of my last conversations that I had with my ex at least 5 years ago... He was (not) apologizing to me. For the third or fourth or fifteenth time. I’d lost count.
He never actually apologized. Never.
He’d acknowledge that my feelings were hurt. Acknowledge that the hurt had something to do with him. And then not take responsibility for actually hurting me. Because it was never his fault. Never.
I chose to be hurt. Or something like that.
On this particular occasion, he pointed out that he knew women who had real reasons to be upset with the men in their lives. The guys hit them or said horrible things to them. And he’d never said a mean thing to me. He was clear in this. He’d never said anything unkind, so I had no reason to be mad. Which was true. He was, almost always, a sweet talker.
But one of the very few things I’ve learned about men and relationships is that the words they say don’t really mean much. Not really. It’s what they DO that matters. So a man who treats you poorly but then says nice things… he’s probably not a good person to build a long term relationship with. Because when it comes right down to it, words don’t mean much.
And if a guy doesn’t understand HOW to treat a woman right, make her feel respected and treasured as opposed to taken for granted, then he isn’t worth your time in the first place.
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