Here I go again....

Awww yes. You know you have made a raging comeback into the blogging arena when the only title that seems to fit is a White Snake song!!! I should just stop there. But I won't. So yes, it has been a horrendously long time since my last post. I apologize. I must have slunk away into the shadows to be alone with myself which, oddly enough, is where I feel most comfortable. And the most depressed. But I decided to surface once again and write even though I don't feel like it. No check that, I didn't decide at all. The Son of God, himself, called me out to write again. What was I gonna do? I couldn't deny the Savior!! But I have a feeling with such high expectations thrown on top of me, I will yet again retreat into the silences never to be heard from again. Until, that is, someone offers me their liquor. I can never turn down good booze. Especially when someone else has paid for it. Anyway, life continues on, always at the same pace, always leaving me behind to figure things out and try to catch up, only to be left behind again. It's a bitch, what can I say!! But I never want to give up hope. After all, it is just that that has carried me thus far. I just hope that people won't be completely scared off by my "less than enthusiastic" outlook. But hey, If Jesus is still interested, I can't be that insane, right? It's funny, I heard a comedian say that when your single, all you see is couples. It's so true. They're everywhere, mocking me with their cute glances they steal of one another, their little inside conversations they have that only lead to making out right in front of you. Those are so fucking annoying. And the most annoying part is how you can't stand it, but all the while you wish it were you. But that's life. With it's many stages, your bound to not keep up with all of them... or none of them. It's odd though. As frustrating and annoying it is being around couples, it always makes me reflective. For whatever reason, it always puts a song and an abstract, nostalgic thought in my head. And although temporary, I feel a strange beauty, a calming come over me. Craig Finn, of the Hold Steady, has this lyric that says, "I see Jesus in the clumsiness of young and awkward lovers". I think he's right. There is an innocence, a purity that seems to shine through in couples, especially the odd ones who no one seems to get, but it doesn't matter because they get each other. I think I'm done. I am only 1 cup of coffee awake and coherent thoughts are hard to come by. Later. And by later, I hope I mean sooner than 3 months from now. But we'll see how that goes. On second thoughts I might come back to rant a lil later. I can see myself doing this when my best friend moves back to the US at the end of the year. She has been away for a freaking week and my world seems to have come to an end.. my other best friend went to be with Jesus and the only other I want to talk to doesn't even want to talk to me anymore....
So I say screw it all , drink more coffee and rant away!
P.S. I love how intelligent I look when I am ranting away on my blog, everyone around seems to think that I am seriously working on something very important.... Hell yeah! I am important!

Peace!