When asked about the best compliment they have ever received, most people would respond with “beautiful” or “sexy” or “attractive.” My question is- why? Why do we, as a species that prides itself on its intelligence and superiority, consider our appearance to be so crucial to our self-esteem?
When asked about the best compliment they have ever received, most people would respond with “beautiful” or “sexy” or “attractive.” My question is- why? Why do we, as a species that prides itself on its intelligence and superiority, consider our appearance to be so crucial to our self-esteem?
As a woman, as a teacher at the American School, as Sunday school teacher as mother of a teenaged girl (who accompanies her everywhere ) I am privy to this phenomenon on a regular basis. I notice fellow teens in the hallways exclaiming over attractive members of the opposite sex or how good they look that day. I hear students using the phrase “well, at least you look hot” to comfort one another. I see girls wearing scandalous outfits and flaunting their bodies for the enjoyment of men. And I wonder- why?
Why do we worry so much more about how someone perceives our outsides instead of how they perceive our insides?
I have a friend who is incredibly intelligent. He’s sweet and friendly and loving. And yet, he has extremely low self-esteem because of his appearance. Because people look at his clothing and hair and slight chubbiness and criticize him for it. Here is this amazing young man who lacks confidence just because he is not as attractive as some. When he confides this to me, I am angry. It frustrates me that he does not see the same thing I see, which is the beauty of his heart and mind.
I, myself, am considered to be attractive by some. For so long I have struggled with this, not knowing if I believed it or not. Eventually, I wondered why I cared so much. I have good friends who do not care about my looks. My significant other does not care about my looks. And my teachers and bosses definitely do not care about my looks. In fact, the only people who do care about my looks are the people who I would never associate with anyways.
So why should I care?
Since this discovery, I have decided to focus on the aspects of myself that I would be proud to associate with myself, like intelligence, integrity, empathy, and strength. What I have noticed is that I am happier, less insecure, and generally more confident than I ever have been before.
With this in mind, I implore the current generation of parents, teachers, and role models to teach this to students. Instead of always saying, “oh, you’re so beautiful,” use words like smart, fun, happy, sweet, and other accolades that appeal to the personality of a student instead of just their appearance. If we teach the upcoming generation this, and they pass it on to the next and so on and so forth, we could potentially lower the amount of teenagers with self-esteem problems and create humans that strive to be better people instead of better-looking people.
Maybe then the richest people in the world would be humanitarians, scientists, teachers, and ordinary beings, instead of the beautiful people of Hollywood
When asked about the best compliment they have ever received, most people would respond with “beautiful” or “sexy” or “attractive.” My question is- why? Why do we, as a species that prides itself on its intelligence and superiority, consider our appearance to be so crucial to our self-esteem?
As a woman, as a teacher at the American School, as Sunday school teacher as mother of a teenaged girl (who accompanies her everywhere ) I am privy to this phenomenon on a regular basis. I notice fellow teens in the hallways exclaiming over attractive members of the opposite sex or how good they look that day. I hear students using the phrase “well, at least you look hot” to comfort one another. I see girls wearing scandalous outfits and flaunting their bodies for the enjoyment of men. And I wonder- why?
Why do we worry so much more about how someone perceives our outsides instead of how they perceive our insides?
I have a friend who is incredibly intelligent. He’s sweet and friendly and loving. And yet, he has extremely low self-esteem because of his appearance. Because people look at his clothing and hair and slight chubbiness and criticize him for it. Here is this amazing young man who lacks confidence just because he is not as attractive as some. When he confides this to me, I am angry. It frustrates me that he does not see the same thing I see, which is the beauty of his heart and mind.
I, myself, am considered to be attractive by some. For so long I have struggled with this, not knowing if I believed it or not. Eventually, I wondered why I cared so much. I have good friends who do not care about my looks. My significant other does not care about my looks. And my teachers and bosses definitely do not care about my looks. In fact, the only people who do care about my looks are the people who I would never associate with anyways.
So why should I care?
Since this discovery, I have decided to focus on the aspects of myself that I would be proud to associate with myself, like intelligence, integrity, empathy, and strength. What I have noticed is that I am happier, less insecure, and generally more confident than I ever have been before.
With this in mind, I implore the current generation of parents, teachers, and role models to teach this to students. Instead of always saying, “oh, you’re so beautiful,” use words like smart, fun, happy, sweet, and other accolades that appeal to the personality of a student instead of just their appearance. If we teach the upcoming generation this, and they pass it on to the next and so on and so forth, we could potentially lower the amount of teenagers with self-esteem problems and create humans that strive to be better people instead of better-looking people.
Maybe then the richest people in the world would be humanitarians, scientists, teachers, and ordinary beings, instead of the beautiful people of Hollywood
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