God loves imperfect people 1 - Part 2

When Thomas heard that Jesus had risen from the grave and people had seen him alive, everyone was so excited , everyone that is, except Thomas. He was more practical, more logical and said guys, ‘if you want to believe that’s fine, but not me. A man cant be dead three days and then come back to life. I have to see to believe. I want to see the nail prints in his hands. ‘ Now Thomas had spent just the same time as the other disciples yet they were full of faith, they were all believers. Thomas was full of doubt, he had all these questions. One day they were in a room together and Jesus came walking in thru the doors, they nearly passed out , what’s interesting is that Jesus didn’t go over to Andrew and say Andrew I made it, he didn’t walk over to Mathew and give him a big hug, Jesus walked right upto Thomas, bypast all the people that had faith and went to one person in the room that had doubt. He didn’t shew him out and say ‘Thomas what’s wrong with you?’,  he said ‘Thomas, I know you don’t believe, I know you have doubts, I know you have questions but Thomas that’s okay, I understand that’s why I came to you first, now feel the nail prints in my hand, feel the scars in my side….

Notice the pattern, when you have doubts like Thomas, when you blow it like Peter, when you fail like the woman that was married five times we thing God is far away from us, it’s just the opposite. God came to the people who had doubt before he came to people who had faith. You cant put God in a box and tell God who to save and who to forgive and who to heal. The longer I live I realize that Gods ways are not our ways, God will save the most unlikely people, He will show mercy when we think they deserve judgment.  Sometimes God will bypass the many that have faith to get to the one that has doubt, its because He never writes us off. God doesn’t judge us the way people do. God understands when you make a mistake , he understands when you have a doubt,. Its interesting to know, that `Thomas doubted this one time and he became know as the doubting Thomas, it wasn’t for a week or two  but his whole life. People labeled  him a doubter. God doesn’t judge you by one mistake. We call him doubting Thomas you know what God calls him ‘believing Thomas’,’ forgiven Thomas’, ‘redeemed Thomas’,’ restored Thomas’,’ amazing Thomas’ . What we don’t hear much about is that Thomas went on to touch all of India. He is credited as being the one that brought the good news to the entire Indian sub-continent. You may have struggled with an addiction your whole life, but remember this God is not judging you by that one set back in your life. Get rid of that negative label. Maybe you have failed in business, blew a relationship , did something that your not proud of, don’t let that become your identity. Stop seeing yourself as doubting Thomas, addicted Thomas, undisciplined Thomas , unbelieving Thomas, failing Thomas, you got to turn it around start seeing yourself as ‘blessed Thomas’ ,’ free Thomas’, ‘redeemed Thomas’,’ successful Thomas’.

Too often we get our performance mixed up with our identity. You may have failed but you are not a failure. That’s what you did but that’s not who you are, you are child of the most high God. You’ve been hand picked by the creator of the universe, you may struggle with an addiction but you are not an addict, that’s what you did, that’s not who are, that’s what you did, you are free, you are clean, you are restored, now don’t go around dwelling on your past mistakes. Quit replaying all the times that you failed, all the time that you gave in to temptation, all the times you blew the relationship , the time that it didn’t work out, it’s only going to depress you. It’s like a remote to change the channel on the television you got to change the channel in your mind.  You will not be free from guilt, you will not enjoy your life if your constantly going to be replaying the negative images of your past. If you have to relay anything replay your victories, replay the times that you have honored God, replay the times that you have helped somebody in need, that will change your perspective. Some of you today will go to a new level if you just change the channel in your mind.

Few years ago a young lady named Rachel Smith who competed and won the Ms America Beauty Pagent A, bright young girl who goes all over the world helping under privileged children. She went on to compete in the Ms Universe Pagent, As she walked out on stage during the Evening gown round of the competition, all by her self, with millions of people watching around the world live on television, she lost her footing and fell flat on her backside. She was so embarrassed and got up as quickly as she could, put her smile back on her face and continued to walk. The audience weren’t so forgiving, there were  jeers and laughter and boos and she felt humiliated. In spite of the fall she made it to the top 5 of the competition .Her next task was to answer a question randomly chosen by the judges she walked back on to the stage were she had fallen just a few minutes earlier, a judge picked a random question out of a hat, her question was : If there was any one moment in your life that you could relive  and do it differently what would that be? Here her most embarrassing moment was 20 minutes earlier. How many of us would say ‘I want to relive that moment’ without missing a beat. She said if,’ I could relive any moment of my life again I would relive my trip to Africa, working with the orphans, seeing their beautiful smiles and feeling their warm embrace. Instead of reliving a moment of pain, a moment of embarrassment she chose to relive a moment of joy , a moment where she was making a difference, a moment where she was proud of herself. In life we are all going to have times when we fall, embarrassing moments, unfair situations I can assure you that they will come up on the movie screen of your mind again and again, You got to get good at changing your channels, put on accomplishments, put on your victories, put on the time when your proud of yourself.

God loves Imperfect People - part 1

I want to talk to you today about how God loves imperfect people. I am a preacher’s daughter, and I grew up as a child who rebelled against just about everyone, simply because of their holier-than-thou attitude. This was something that drove me away from God and his plan. I made some very poor choices in my life and God allowed it to happen because it was all in his plan for my life, because of which I found my way back to Him. I can relate to people who have blown it, who have had a rough past. I want to say to you that God loves imperfect people. As you read more I pray that you are surrounded by His love…

Most of the time we believe that God loves us and is on our side as long as we are making good decisions, resisting temptation and treating people right,  but the problem with this kind of reasoning is that we all make mistakes. No matter how good of a person you are there will be time when you don’t perform perfectly times that you have doubts, times that you fail, you know you should bite your tongue but you told them off any way, you said it will be the last time but you gave  into compromise once again. When we don’t perform perfectly, its easy to think that Gods love is far from us, “ I blew it God would never have anything to do with me” I have heard people say to my dad “ Pastor, would you pray for me, I know God would never hear my prayers, not with the life I have lived, not with the mistakes I have made”  I say this respectfully but sometimes religion pushes people down. It says if you turn your back on God, God will turn  His back on you. If you made poor choices don’t expect God to bail you out it was your own fault. Now the truth is : when you fall God doesn’t turn away from you, he comes running towards you, when you blow it, He doesn’t say, you had your chance, instead he comes running after you with a greater passion. Heard someone say, When you make a mistake God doesn’t love you the same, He loves you a little bit more. So much so that He pursues you, He will turn up the intensity. He won’t leave you alone until he sees you back up on your feet again on the right course. In other words God will express his love in a greater way. He will send people across your path to encourage you, to help re-ignite your faith. May be your walking thru the neighbor hood and you hear church bells ringing and you feel a warmness on the inside, that’s the mercy of God coming after you saying, “you may have blown it but your still my child”. “ you may have let me down, but I’m not going to let you down, you may have lost faith in me but I havn’t lost faith in you”

We don’t have to have a perfect performance where we never have a doubt, we never make a mistake, and certainly, we should try our best each day to honor God but what I’m saying is : don’t beat yourself up all the time, God loves imperfect people. Think about Peter, before Jesus chose him to become a disciple Jesus knew that Peter would deny him, but He chose him in any way. God knows every mistake that we will ever make,  all of our days have been written in His book from the beginning to the end. God knows every time you will fail, every time you will take the easy way out, every time you will lose your  temper….the good news is God still chose you. He still says that’s my child and He will still help you fulfill your destiny. Why? Because Gods love is not based on our performance, it’s based on our relationship, we are His children. When Jesus was about to be crucified He said to Peter, ‘ you will deny me three times, before the rooster crows tonight’  Peter said,’ No Jesus, I’m your most faithful disciple, I’ll stick with you thru thick and thin, I’ll be with you thru the very end”.  They arrested Jesus, Peter was watching it all take place from a distance, a young lady came over and pointed at Peter and said, “He’s one of His followers, I’ve seen this man with Jesus”, Peter said “No, Ma’am you’ve got it wrong, you’re mistaken, I don’t know the man’. He denied Him once, then he did it a second time. The third time the girl came back even more emphatically and said to the guards, “I know he is one of His followers, Im certain that I’ve seen this man with Jesus”, this time Peter got upset. He was probably cursing and swearing, saying “Girl! What are you talking about? You’re making all of this up, I’ve never seen the man!” Right on queue the rooster crowed. Jesus looked over at Peter their eyes met, you can imagine how Peter must have felt. When Jesus needed him the most, when He was at His lowest moment, If Jesus ever needed a friend to stick up for Him it would have been a moment like this, but Peter didn’t do it! The scripture says, Peter went out and wept bitterly, he felt ashamed, no doubt he was beating himself up thinking  “ Peter what is wrong with you, How could you be such a coward” Not long after that they crucified Jesus, Peter never had a chance to make things right, He never had the chance to say Jesus I’m sorry, I blew it, I promise I will be there for you next time . He had to carry the guilt, the heaviness of betraying his friend, the Messiah, whom he dearly loved. We’ve all made mistakes, we’ve all failed, but none of us have failed as big as Peter. None of us have denied Christ when He needed us the most, when He was about to be crucified. You would think Peter would have missed his destiny, surely God wouldn’t have anything to do with him…but know when you make a mistake God doesn’t turn away from you, He turns to you, He doesn’t love you less, He loves you more, He comes after you. They crucified Jesus on a Friday afternoon, Sunday morning Mary went to the tomb, to check on His body. When she arrived, she found that the stone had been rolled away, she went in and the angel appeared and said,” Mary don’t be afraid, Jesus is not hear He has risen.” Now go tell His  disciples and Peter that He is alive. Out of all the people in the world, at this historic moment, God could have mentioned so many other people, but the only person whom He specifically pointed out to was Peter. God was saying, “ Peter I know you think I’m disappointed with you, and I know that you thing I don’t want to have anything to do with you but Peter, that’s not who I am, I am the God of another chance, when you fall I come running towards you ,when you turn your back on me, I don’t turn your back on you.” Today God is saying,” I’m not only alive, but I still love you, I still believe in you, If you will let go of the guilt and move forward I will still get you to where your supposed to be.” Now you have to do your part and receive Gods mercy. If Peter would have listened to the accusing voices and gone around beating himself up, he would have gotten stuck where he was. I can imagine what went thru his head when he heard Mary saying, Peter the angel specifically said to tell you that Jesus is alive… He would have said, “Mary did you hear him  say ‘tell Peter’?”, when she said yes, something ignited on the inside, he shook of the guilt, he shook of the self pity, and would have said to himself ‘I may have blown it in the past but that doesn’t need to keep me from my future. I’m still going to become what I am created  to be’. Not long after that Peter went out and ministered and three thousand people came to know the lord, the most ever recorded in the scripture. It would have never happened if Peter did not understand this principle. God doesnt write us off when we make mistakes, God doesn’t cancel our destiny because we have taken a few detours. Some of you today look down on yourselves coz you’re not where you thought you will be in life, you have made some poor choices, now your letting the guilt weigh you down, that heaviness is keeping you from Gods best. But just like God specifically called Peters names He’s calling your name today, saying tell John, tell  James, tell Sherly, tell Maria, tell Priya, tell Santhosh I’ve forgiven them, I’m not disappointed in them, I’m not withholding my blessing I still have an amazing future in front of them. Gods calling your name today, he’s running towards you.

The scripture talks about the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob. I can understand how he is the God of Abraham, Abraham is the father of our faith. I can understand how he’s the God of Isaac, Isaac was extremely obedient, even willing to be sacrificed but when it says that God is the God of Jacob that doesn’t make a lot of sense. Jacob was a cheater, he went around deceiving people, he stole his brother’s birthright. Jacob was known for making poor choices. Yet God is called the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. What was God saying? I’m not just the God of Perfect people, I’m not just the God of people that have never made a mistake, I am the God of people that have failed. I’m the God of people that have blown it, I am the God of people that have had a rough past. It’s interesting to note that later in Jacobs life. he changed his ways, he got his life straightened out. God changed his name from Jacob to Israel, that was to signify his new beginning. God could have been known as the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, that seems to make more sense. that was his new name, he was restored and redeemed, now God on purpose left it as the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to forever settle it that He is not only God of the perfect people but He is God of the imperfect people. You may have made mistakes, but be encouraged, that He is the God of Jacob, He is still your God. You may have lost your temper, struggled with an addiction, compromised your integrity, don’t beat yourself up He is the God of Jacob, he is your God too.

In the book of John, there was a woman that was married five times and she was living with a  sixth man, you can imagine the heartache and pain that she would have gone thru, I’m sure she got beaten down by life, not really living but just existing. Jesus was about to travel to another city. He told his disciples ‘I must go thru Samaria’. They said ‘No Jesus, that’s the long way. There is short cut, a much quicker route’ and tried to talk Jesus out of it. But he said ‘No, you don’t understand, I must go thru Samaria, there is a woman there that feels condemned, that’s about to give up on life, I must go and express my love to her.  I’ve got to go and encourage her and get her back on the right course’. She was known as the woman at the well. Do you know that the first person that Jesus revealed himself to as the Messiah was not the religious leaders, not the priests and the rabbis in the synagogue it was this woman. A woman that had made mistakes, a woman that was beaten down by life, an imperfect person, that one encounter changed her life. But too many  people like her are sitting on the sidelines like her, they feel that they have blown it many times, they’ve failed, they havn’t measured up. They are letting the accusing voices tell them that they are all washed up, that God’s disappointed in them , that they  can’t expect Gods favor  Now you have to get this truth down in your spirits, you may have made mistakes, but God is not running from you, He’s running to you.  He doesn’t love you less, he loves you more. He is expressing his love today. You wouldn’t be reading this, if God wasn’t reaching out to you today, now get rid of the guilt, shake of the condemnation, quit thinking about being what should have been and get back in the game, your not supposed to sit on the side lines. God is not disappointed in you. Nothing you’ve done is a surprise to God. You got to do your part and start moving forward, you can still fulfill your destiny, God’s mercy is bigger than any mistake you have made.

The scripture talks about, how God searches the earth to show himself strong in people whose hearts aren’t perfect toward him. It doesn’t say that Gods looking for a perfect performance, but Gods looking for people that have a heart that’s turned perfect toward him. That means if you get up each day with a desire to please God, if deep down you really want to honor Him, then like Peter you will have times that you fail, you wanted to resist but you gave in, the good news is that does not cancel your destiny. Your performance may not be perfect but because your heart is perfect toward God he still has something perfect towards your future. No matter what you’ve done, you can’t change the past, learn from your mistakes but don’t get stuck in the past there, keep moving forward. Receive God’s mercy. Be bold enough to say ‘God I blew it. I know I should have done better. But God I know your not holding it against me, I know your not the God of just Abraham but the God of Jacob too, the God of imperfect people. ‘

Does it matter how we say our good byes? I think it does

Friday  was no different than any other weekday afternoon. It’s the third month now since I have been sick. I have good days and bad days, days when I get out of bed ready to face the world and some days I wish the earth under my feet would give way and I disappear… as soon as the thought barely surfaces in my pea sized brain I think of my 2 kids and I beg forgiveness from God lest he grant me my wish and my kids become orphans.   I’ve been down with malaria, rat fever and typhoid all at the same time, I am now on a  very long and slow road to recovery. But I’m just very thankful to be on that road…I feel very weak but I still make sure I make it to school every day to drop and pick my kids up.  

 I was on my way to pick up my kids from school…I watched a garbage dump truck knock a woman off her bike and run over her head and pop her brains out….There was not a lot of blood but she was gone in a moment. Im sure she didn’t feel no pain coz it happened in the blink of an eye. I called 108 the ambulance service and the cops and then passed out ….. I woke up in less than what-seemed-forever-30 seconds later with a head ache and some crazy thoughts. For starters I was shaking like a leaf, it was 5 min away from home, at the exact same spot that I stood and tried to cross the road almost everyday. What if it was me, was my first thought, I started to think of my kids and then I started to think of the lady who was lying dead with her face down, squished into the tar road… There were more people trying to beat the drunk- garbage truck driver than anybody trying to get her to a hospital….I guess it was all over in a few seconds and it didn’t matter to nobody, but I hoped against all hopes that she was alive. It took me back to when I was 6 and my dad met with an accident…. A memory etched in my head forever. I remember waiting for him to pick me from school from 2 pm to 5.My dad was always there 15 minutes early. The school aayah (cleaner) took me home only to find out from my grandmother that my dad had met with an accident. My heart broke that day into a million bits. I now, started to think of the lady and if she would have had kids waiting for her, at home or at school. It upset me so badly. I suddenly started to think about what would now happen to her soul, if she was Christian , if she had a chance to know the lord,  to be forgiven and that psyched me out even more. I have never ever thought like that before. It felt strange to my own being.  This life that we lead here has absolutely no value. Here one second gone the next. Im still trying to get over it. I know for a fact that I live today due to the sheer mercy of God that I absolutely don’t deserve. I am very grateful for the life I have and for the protection so far.

 On a tangent, it was ironic that I had , just that morning  started to write an article on how we send our dead packing to the next world if there exists one or just how we say our final goodbyes and let them return to dust… I personally think that by studying the way people treat their dead a great deal can be learnt about their culture.

 Had I died, I would have gone to Heaven. My soul, I believe, would have been taken into the immediate presence of God. , Immediately, silently, invisibly and effortlessly, I would have been at once absent from the body and present with the Lord. This does not necessarily mean I had a reserved seat in heaven.


 The disposal of my body, on the other hand, would not have been quite so swift, although by local tradition it wouldn’t have taken too long. Arrangements would have been made to place it in a casket and then in the earth, with all the rites of passage we associate with local CSI funerals.

 My funeral would have been a very simple affair, attended by family, friends and members of the church. One of my brothers would have presided over the strictly non-laudatory event, and my passing would have been marked with the singing of a couple of my favorite songs, the reading of the Bible and the offering of prayer. And all this with the design of comforting the living, not praising me.


 This may all sound very morbid, but reading the reports of Whitney Houston’s funeral, I couldn’t help reflect on the contrastbetween celebrity ‘homegoing’ ceremonies, as her’s was designed to be, and the simple worship service with which we mark the passing of our loved ones.

 Whitney Houston like me, grew up in church and loved to sing. Maybe we had other things in common; if so, I can’t think of them right now. Instead, she was born a world away, and rose on a ladder of fame until she became, a few years back, the most-awarded female act of all time. Her voice was extremely powerful, and, notwithstanding its many repeated playings, her rendition of ‘I will always love you’ still makes the hairs on the back of my neck tingle.


Her descent into a bondage to alcohol and drugs will be cited as a footnote in her career; certainly, her New Jersey funeral, which resulted in every flag in the State being flown at half mast, spent little time dwelling on these failings. Instead, the funeral ceremony became a showcase in its own right, and the young lady was sent home in a blaze of glory. Everyone who was anyone was in attendance; a galaxy of stars on earth made Houston a star in Heaven.

But that is the point at which I realise that somewhere along the way we have lost our way when it comes to funerals. We have turned the most solemn event of all - the act of worship which marks the end of our lives - into a form of entertainment, in which we celebrate achievement, praise the departed, and generally entertain the audience. Celebration, praise and entertainment are good and fitting in their own place; but I doubt whether a funeral service is  that place.

That runs so much against the grain of our secular view of life, however, that even to say it is to run the risk of verifying the Calvinistic caricature of our apparently joyless religion. Surely if our Christian funeral services are to be services at all, they are to be acts of worship? And if they are to be acts of worship, the praise should be of God, and the celebration should be of what Jesus did to overcome death and the grave.

By a remarkable coincidence, my studies last Sunday evening took me to Jesus’ intervention in a funeral in Nain, and his miracle of raising a dead man. I quoted Bishop J.C. Ryle’s magnificent commentary on that New Testament passage, in which he says that ‘From one end of the world to the other, the history of families is full of lamentation and weeping, and mourning and woe. And whence does it all come? Sin is the fountain and root to which all must be traced. There would neither have been tears, nor tares, nor illness, nor deaths, nor funerals in the earth, if there had been no sin.’

That reality is one we must not disguise. It may pander well to our flesh to give our heroes a fitting send-off, one which equals, in every way, the best performances of their careers. But it only disguises the reality that because of sin, we are all laid low, with death leveling the great and the good, the small and the bad. No amount of razzmatazz can hide the fact that death is not our friend but our enemy. We ought not to treat it as the occasion for a final concert.

Nor is this merely another example of American excess. Unless we are careful, our own funeral services will become nothing more than a gilding of the lily, the celebration of the person rather than the worship of God. From that kind of mockery may we be preserved. It matters little that I hear at a funeral service what the deceased achieved; but it matters much that I hear what Jesus achieved for us all in this world of the dying.

Had I been buried last week, there would have been little pomp and ceremony, little to celebrate, and little to praise. But with the reading of the Scriptures and the singing of the Psalms, there might have been something worthwhile for the small gathering to think about.

My pretty world of quilled paper

If you would have read my profile already, you would understand my love for all kinds of art and craft. Art and craft has always been my escape from the real world and everything I have had to deal with. I aint complaining, just thankful that I knew so many different kinds of craft. My dada is a painter who does oil on canvas, his palette paintings are way too stunning. I inherited all my dad's creative genes. My craft has helped me believe in myself and reach out to many people. I have loved all types of art thru my growing up years and have tried every craft form atleast once.

All of my designs are on sale on ebay or on facebook.com/bear.india  They are handmade and are all original design! Bulk orders are accepted and can be customized! All Profits go towards uplifting women thru my NGO called B.E.A.R. India. Being there - Encouraging - Aiding - Reaching Out .... thats what BEAR stands for and thats what we do!  BEAR India is an independent, social upliftment, job creation and skills development organisation, that renders assistance to underprivileged and destitute people, focusing mainly on women and children.

The card is available for Rs. 100.

This was a card I made my mom for Mother's day! The card is available for Rs. 145. Handmade and original design! Bulk orders accepted, can be customized! All Profits go towards uplifting women

This was a card I designed and made for my sister in law. Its an initial card. It has the letter S on the top of it and space to personalize it. The card is available for Rs. 175. on ebay or on facebook.com/bear.india 
Handmade and original design! Bulk orders accepted, can be customized! All Profits go towards uplifting women

Using my imagination! you can call it whatever you want! 5 X 4 inches card! On sale for Rs. 125

"A money envelope " Rs 75. Handmade paper, original design!

This individual flower retails for Rs.30 a piece. It can be used for decorative purposes. Can be glued on to almost any surface.

This individual flower retails for Rs.25 a piece. It can be used for decorative purposes. Can be glued on to almost any surface. Jus use your imagination!

                                                         Have a good day card! Rs. 75

Believing.... yea u heard rite! Believing in God

If you are trying hard to believe in God while a hundred voices are telling you to stop believing, you are my kind of person.  Believing doesn’t come easy to me either. It never has come easy: I suppose it never will. I almost always believe in God in spite of problems and pains that tell me things are so wrong that believing in a good God doesn’t make any sense. The things I say here are filtered through many years of believing against the grain.

Too many people I truly care about hurt too much to let believing come easy. My prayers do not take away the pain or hold back the tolling of the bells. My friend’s marriages (including mine,once upon a time) turn into battlefields and their children go through a hundred kinds of mini hells. In the midst of it all I wonder, God does not do any – let alone many miracles for my crowd.

But the pains of people in my little orbit are just starters. Those starving children that I pray for across the seven seas keep on dying : and the oppressed people I pray for keep getting their heads banged continuously with no redemption in site. I am not whining or whimpering. I know we make most of our miseries. But off late I have had this strong feeling to admit that I believe in God. It must be God himself, or so I’d like to think ;) I have never been an atheist so to speak but I have never thought that the God of everything had to be believed in the way He should be. When you are a just another face in the crowd, whose travelled the lengths and breadths of four continents (excepting Australia)  and has seen more than ones fair share of all the not-so-nice-things and after having experienced most of them first hand,  it’s only natural to not believe in God.

I believe that God really cares, even thou I feel a lot of hurts and pain that tell me he does not seem to care. This does not mean that I am filled with “Faith” from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and that I am waiting to break loose and scream with a YAYYYYY , Hail Jesus !!!  but on the contrary its that belief that sneaks into my soul while my mind is saying, “ My God, where were you when I need you?’ that I’m talking about… Now you get it, eh? I believe in God, hey! not really but kinda….actually I believe in this but not so much in that part ….. wait a minute…. now do I believe or not? Am I supposed to believe or maybe I should just pretend that I do, just in case he cancels all those good things that he  just MAY have in store for me somewhere in the future that I don’t see jus yet.  Until one day I decided to consciously write down all those moments when I believed in God, eagerly anticipating a miracle…like they say hoping against all hopes. I’m talking about the real believing, the kind that you do with your deepest self, down where your primeval feelings flow. The thinking part is not hard. I can think of arguments that I so desperately want to have with God even in my sleep. It is that feeling part that comes hard, the part that lets you know in the deepest places of your soul that it is all right even when your head tell you everything is ghastly.

Deep feeling fiercer than mere emotion, is what I have in mind. I am talking about feeling  that grab you at the core of your being and tell you whether life is good or rotten. These are the feelings that push your life toward joy or misery. We are talking about feelings of the heart, the window of your being where you are open to God.

When I feel that I am loved when everything about me says I am unlovable, then I am believing, really believing.

 I love it when Pastor Shawn says, “ Welcome to Word of life, the place where misfits worship, we are all misfits here” I suddenly start to believe that God in all His perfection loves an imperfect me….a childlike belief which is overwhelming at times takes over.

When I feel that life in this valley of death is much worth the living, then Im believing …

When I feel gratitude enough to make me glad, then I am believing….

When I feel that all is right with me even when everything around me is the pits, then I am actually believing…

There are many feelings that take hold of us in many levels of our living.

 In this part of my blog I invite you to look around on a dozen different levels of your life to see whether you have discovered a sense of all rightness there in your own feelings…I’m going to be writing on different stories, you may call ‘em chapters,  I like to call it my story of discovery, a disclosure that it can be all right when things are brutally bad.  Good old Amazing Grace, it is still the bottom line of discovery.

   

yaayyyy! my blog finally

Hello World!

This feels so wierd...I've wanted a blog for sooo long, just coz I thot I had a truck load of stuff that I wanted to talk about, but now that I have one I dont know what to write... funny, eh?

Well I intend to write on a lot of different topics, depending on my mood I will ramble on.. its my world after all, MY PRECIOUS WORLD!